4/19/13 Day 6

Today was filled with so many different indescribable emotions. The party we threw was incredible, Milagra and Julisa and so many kids that Lisa Marie has worked with for so many years came today and to see that was incredible. It has taken Lisa Marie 2 years to get their parents to bring their kids outside and now Milagra will be starting Escuela Especial on Monday. Each kid at Escuela Especial is so special to me and means so much to me. Today I felt so much joy seeing their smiles getting new clothes and food for lunch to, balling crying because I was so sad at the thought of not seeing these kids next week. All I want is for these kids to be seen as what they truly are, a gift. They are so special and should never be seen as a burden but as a gift, they all have so much potential and deserve the world.
 For me today the best moment was when I was hugging Tania my favorite girl and I looked down at her and she was crying because she didn't want us to go. This moment was so meaningful because it reminds you how much 5 days truly means to these kids.
5 days and these kids love you with all of their heart. 5 days and you have impacted an entire school full of children's lives. 5 days and you are never forgotten in these kids minds. What we do here is so amazing and so impactful you can hardly put it into words. Each trip I have been on has had an amazing impact on my life. Cambodia changed me for ever and helped me grow into who I am today. This blog today goes out to those kids who have no idea how much they have changed my life. I will never forget them and I will find a way to see them again and tell them again I love them and they are angels. Every day I have a huge smile on my face because I know what I am doing is not forgotten and is not undermined. I love every single child at Escuela Especial as my own family and they have truly made a difference in my life.
I would also like this blog to go out to Lisa Marie. What she has done for me can't be described. She has helped form who I am today and helped me see what is truly important in life. From the bottom of my heart I love her and appreciate her so much. She has helped me become proud of who I am today and confident in who I am and what I stand for. She has opened my eyes to new experiences and changed my life. She has introduced me to children that I will never forget and love like my family. She has had this large of an impact on my life so you can only imagine how many kids lives she has changed. Not just the students she takes but the children in Cambodia and Nicaragua have different lives because of her. Who she is and what she stands for is what I aspire to be. I could only hope for my life to be as impactful on so many peoples lives as hers had. I love her from the bottom of my heart and am thankful from the bottom of my heart for her.

4/18/13 Day 5

Today I was given the opportunity to go on the physical therapy home visits with Carmen Margarita. We went to three different houses for three different reasons. The first child we went to see was named Carlos, he was 1 and ½ the disability didn't affect his physical appearance but the size of his brain was importunate to his age. It was less than half the size of where it should be at. Carmen Margarita tried to do exercises with him such as showing him an animal and trying to get him to say the noise it made, or just playing with a toy keyboard to hear the noises. He also had a problem with eating because his throat was so small he couldn't swallow anything but mashed up foods and liquids. The second child was named Nasared and she was diagnosed with down-syndrome and had high hyper-activity tendencies. Carmen Margarita did no physical therapy with her because her Aunt had already done it with her that day. Her mom had to work and didn't like her as much as the Aunt so the Aunt was the primary care taker for the girl. The third girl we went to see was Ariana, she had no diagnostic but Carmen Margarita went to check on her because the mom had a bad pregnancy and a high blood pressure during pregnancy and that is a major cause for disabilities in young children. Carmen Margarita just went for precautionary reasons and if there was an issue to catch it early so they could start physical therapy right away. It is heartwarming to know that some parents do want to take care of their disabled kids and help them so they can have a better life one day. I can’t believe it is already Thursday and tomorrow is our last day. Just the thought of it makes me tear up and want to cry. The impact all of these kids have had on me is outstanding. Every day they are happy despite every challenges they are faced with every day it is inspiring and makes you want to change yourself and your life. Today one of the deaf girls that I worked with on the first day, Tania, who has a very special place in my heart, gave me a note. It doesn’t translate perfectly into English but what it says is that I am her speaking friend that she loves very much and makes her very happy. I don’t think she realized the impact this note had on me today, it brought tears of joy to my eyes and only strengthened the love I have for her. Each and every child at Escuela Especial has a place in my heart than can never be broken or replaced. They have grown on me and are forever with me. All I can think about is the next time I will see them, which I will do whatever it takes to make it happen, and how happy I will be to see them again.

4/17/13 Day 4

Today we got to the school about 1 minute before the bus and got to greet all the kids getting off the bus which was so much fun and so exciting. I was then assigned to work in Yahoska’s classroom which only had two kids from the first bus. Ansley was also with me and she worked with Zulema while I worked with Julio. Over the next half hour more and more kids started to trickle in and join us while we colored and played with play-dough. I began working with Astrid a 9 year old girl who never really talks but more just stares straight at you. I showed her how to roll the playdough and she started doing it after me, every time she finished rolling it she would show me with a huge grin all the way across her face. I then started doing these little cards the teacher gave me with her. They had a picture of something on them and we would say what it was and she would nod or point to whatever was on the picture with a huge smile on her face every time he got it right. The teacher then told the translator to tell me to take her outside to play because they thought she was lazy. I took Astrid outside and we played for awhile passing the ball and swinging. Lisa Marie asked me if I wanted to go with her to see one of little boys houses and I said yes and took Astrid back to the classroom. Once we got there and she realized I was leaving she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed so hard and would not let go. In the end it took 3 people to tear her off me and try to get her to sit down. When I got in the car my heart was torn, a picture of Astrid's poor little face filled with sadness that I was leaving was stuck in my head.

We started driving with a translator and Jesus’s dad to their house because Jesus who was blind had told LM he lived outside in a tent. That obviously bothered LM so we went to go see what he meant. Jesus had long, long ponytail because his father said they would cut his hair when he could see again. We pulled up to a circus tent with tiny tents surrounding it and Lisa Marie and I just looked at each other because of the conditions he was  living in. It turned out his family worked in a circus and moved around town every month with the circus. He had a little cousin named Ana who attached herself to LM and I until we left. The family was so sweet and cared so much about Jesus it was so relieving to know that there are some families who really do care. Their tent was about the size of a large bathroom and had 3 beds for 5 people. They had a huge family and not a lot of money so we took them to the store and filled the cart to the top with food and supplies they needed. The feeling I got when I saw the father crying with joy because we had gotten him food to provide for his family is indescribable.

You do the tiniest things for these kids and their families and they are so grateful for you. Every time you hug a kid at the school you are probably changing their week to their month because of one hug. One touch and they love you and want to be around you all day. The kids value everything so much more than I have and more than anyone I’ve met in the US. It makes me want to change my views and perspectives on everything and appreciate everything I have a 1000 times more than I already do. I cannot believe we are almost halfway through our trip, it breaks my heart. There is no other way I could learn this much about life in 4 days if it weren’t for the kids teaching me.

4/16/13- Day 3

I've been here for 3 days and each day I fall more in love with these kids. There hasn't been a day where they haven't seized to amaze me. Today I worked in a 3rd grade classroom with 5 kids; Conchita, Darwin, Marlin, Kati, and Estrenyer. The day started with me just taing notes in the back of the class which was really hard and at some points boring. I got a translator and asked them to ask the teacher if she needed help and instantly she said yes and I satrted working with the kids. I felt dumb for not asking sooner or not just engaging myself right away but now I know. We brought a couple of supplies with us today and I was given some books, letter flashcards, and some other little color matching toys. I spread them out on the floor and just helped all the kids with whatever they were doing. I found an I Spy Toy Story book and began to try and show Marlin how to and the teachers helped show her how. She was extremely confused with the concept so I gave her the coloring game and she understood that much better. I took the book over to Darwin and pointed to the animal to look for and said "donde" once and 10 seconds later he was pointing to it. 30 minutes later he had gone through the book 3 times and found every item sometimes even before I did. The joy and pride that he brought me was indescribable he had a smile from ear to ear each time he found something and you could just tell how much he wanted to learn and continue on. He is not the only kid I have worked with where all they need is 10 minutes of one on one and they are instantly learning and smiling and not just learning but enjoying it. I appreciate the teachers so much and have such a high amount of respect for them all I wish is that there were more people to help with these kids. They deserve that one on one time and I wish I could provide it to them everyday.
Later in the morning after lunch we were all assigned one kid each to work with one on one. Since I had never worked in Yahoska's classroom I was assigned to work with a little boy in there. His name is Julio and he is 9 years old and is diagnosed with a learning disablity. I brought Aleyda one of the translators in to help me talk to the teacher about what was going on. We found out that he couldn't talk, write or read all he could do was paint. I went to get the paints out so that I could start working with him on the colors or something to do with painting. I sat him down with me and he pointed to the paper and mumbled something I couldn't make out. After asking him again and again I finally figured out what he was trying to say, gato. I drew a cat on the paper and his entire face lit up. He had me draw 4 more cats to color and he colored in every one. I helped him the rest of the day and figured out that he could speak, only a couple words but by the end of the day I got him to repeat mano, perro, gato, nino and nina after me and match them to the picture. I was so proud of him and giving him kisses and hugs and as a reward I took him outside to play for the last 30 minutes of the day. The kids brighten my day with their smiles and hugs and their happiness despite everything they have been through. The kids at Escuela Especial are my true heroes and the people I aspire to be like.

4/15/13- Day 2

Last night I hardly slept because I was so excited to meet all the kids. The van was a little late so we arrived at the school around 7:30. We were instantly greeted with warm smiles and hugs. One of the first was Maura. All throughout the day she was smiles and laughter. We got to work right away and all went to our separate classrooms. I was in the first deaf classroom which had 6 kids. The kids were so smart and so sweet they had me introduce myself and they introduced themselves too. There was Tania, Samuel, Jeyson, Lisbeth, Jennifer and Kassandra. At first it was awkward because the room was completely silent and they are signing but you don’t know what they are saying. Although, it was very interesting to see their lessons and what they were learning. At the beginning their teacher was writing on the board and they were all signing to each other about me, they talked about headband and my red cheeks! They then gave me a note asking for my name and age. I wrote down Allison because they don’t understand AJ. 2 minutes later I got the note back and it had all the girls ages and names. I was so excited to be there and to be interacting with the kids I was shaking while I read their note! They started to write down what was on the board and I got some time to just take it all in and process the situation. The classrooms are nicer than what I expected but nothing like America. They are all separated by huge wooden dividers and you can usually hear what is going on in the classroom next door.  About an hour into class I got the translator and he told them how to do my lesson plans. We started with the matching one where there are pictures on some cards and matching words on the other cards and the kids have to find the word that matches with the picture. After watching them in class I was worried that my lesson plans would be way too easy for them and once we finished the matching game I realized it was too easy but the kids still enjoyed the new lesson. Next one was a math game which you drop one block on the floor with a problem on it and then find the answer on the other. Again, this one was too easy for them but they still enjoyed the fun new lesson. By the time I finished with both lesson plans it was time for their lunch. After lunch we all went to different classrooms and Harry and I went to the pre-school room. We met Victor Manuel, Janian Javier, Jose, Francisco, Ever and Josue. After talking with the teacher I learned that Jose had multiple different diagnoses but he could walk if someone helped him. After we helped him walk we learned that he could walk on his own he was just too scared because no one ever took the time to try to let him walk on his own. If they just took 10 minutes out of their day to work on it with him he would be walking by now. Ever was 7 and was diagnosed with autism. He only talked when he needed something but was capable of walking and talking. It was sad to see how these little kids spent their 4 hours at school. The teachers usually don’t do anything with them so some of them end up literally sitting there and staring at walls. When we come we try to engage them in activities but you know when you’re,  gone they will go back to sitting and staring at walls which breaks my heart because these kids deserve nothing less than love and attention. The school is nicer than I expected but still very low class. I wish I had the money to buy them new schools and new teachers because these kids deserve so much more than what they have. Pretty soon 12 rolled around and the kids went home. At least 15 different kids were stuffed into one tiny van and they all went home waving goodbye out the bus windows. Ansley and I were assigned to go with Magalee on home visits. We went to see two boys. First was David Antonio, he was 4 years old and when he was 9 months old was dropped and cracked his skull open. This caused leisure to form in his brain causing him to have seizures. His mom took him off medication because it was bad for his heart and the doctors said the lesion was closing too. They said he only gets seizures when he is agitated and pissed off, he turns purple in the face and is unresponsive for up to two minutes. The next boy was Carlos Jesus who was 2 and a half and suffering from hereditary epilepsy. They had him on two anti-seizure medications and he hasn’t had a seizure since October 18, 2012. Seeing all these kids today made me realize how much we all take for granted. These kids usually don’t have good home lives and aren’t treated well but they are still so thankful for school and everything they have. In America we live in a society where kids hate going to school but we need to be thankful for school because we are fortunate to be able to go to a clean, safe school. The kids are so nice and so happy and they lighten up our days. 7:30 to 12 o’clock is not a long enough time to be with these kids. I wish I could be here every day, all day.

April 14, 2013 Day 1

After arriving at Hotel Hamacas at 12:30am we were all tired and ready for a couple hours of sleep but nonetheless we were excited to be in Nicaragua finally. After talking with the volunteers from last year’s trip I was even more excited to go than before. Since being here and being so close to meeting the kids my excitement has tripled. Today was the first day at Escuela Especial and it was a hard working but worth the work kind-of day. We left the hotel at around 7:30 and arrived at the school around 8. We started cleaning right away and Max and I were assigned to clean a court-yard. It was hot, sweaty and dirty and sometimes I felt like not doing it but then I remember who and why I am doing it for and every bad feeling goes away. It took about an hour to an hour and a half to clean the entire courtyard which was filthy and had glass and barbwire scattered all over. After finishing picking up the trash we went to clean and scrub the preschool’s tables and chairs which were caked with mud but we were happy to clean them knowing how happy the kids would be when they saw their new clean desks. I was then assigned to clean a classroom which consisted of removing all the desks, chairs and tables cleaning them then, scrubbing windows, walls, sweeping the floor, mopping the floor, and eventually moving all the furniture back into the room which was only about 5 minutes after mopping because of the heat. At the school today we met Aleyda and Jose who are two of the translators we will be using. They were so sweet and so helpful they stayed with us at the school until we left and were there before we got there. Tomorrow we will meet the other two translators also. Somewhere in-between 8 and 2 we took a break to eat lunch and then resumed the cleaning tasks afterwards. I was assigned to another classroom with Nicole but this one had a bathroom which was gross to clean and no one wanted to but it had to be done for the kids. Every room, window, chair, table, pot, pan, knife and bathroom was scrubbed clean. Sometimes all you wanted to do was stop and go somewhere with AC and a glass of water, the heat; the dirt and the work was getting to all of us but we finally got to tour the school and find out where we would be working. Most students were assigned to a classroom with the disability they had written an essay on which meant I was in a deaf classroom. I was assigned to the 4^th grade deaf classroom with Mirna and Merano as their teachers. I am overwhelmed with excitement but nervous at the same time. I know it will all work out fine tomorrow but I am worried about signing with the kids and trying to understand them because all I want to do is understand and connect with the kids but I’m worried I won’t be able help with my full ability because of the silence barrier. But I know everything will turn out ok and I will be able to help the kids and connect. After our tour we were done for the day. It was 2 and we were all so exhausted that the ride home was silent. After reflecting on my day I looked back and realized that so many times throughout the day you just want to say it’s too hot or it’s not fun but then you remember why you're cleaning and who it’s for and your doubts are gone because you want those kids to have the best possible environment to learn and grow in and you to be a part of making it better. Today I gained a new perspective on the meaning of “dirty” and “clean” and the value of school. You may walk into a gas station bathroom and think this place is a dump but these kids go to school in places dirtier than a gas station bathroom and you want to stop and take a break \, but then you think about those kids and how they deserve to be in a clean place and it makes you want to stay out in the heat for 6 hours cleaning and scrubbing every last inch of the school. I’m looking forward to meeting the kids tomorrow, gaining new perspectives and growing as a person because of what these kids and lessons can teach me.

First Blog

Last summer I was chosen to go on an incredible service trip to Cambodia to work in an orphanage. This year I applied to go back as a mentor and was elected to go to Nicaragua. In Nicaragua we will be working in a school for children with special needs. I am so excited for this trip and to go on another life changing journey to help less fortunate kids.